I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and she said something that’s been on my mind ever since. We were talking about babies and how the birthing process has changed over the years. She used to work in a hospital in Holland and was telling me how they never used pain medication, it wasn’t even offered to patients when she worked there and they only did surgery when it was a life/death situation.

I was recently upset to learn that my new doctor, who I started going to specifically BECAUSE of her delivery method, is no longer going to be delivering babies. She was the last one in our area that believed in Natural Child Birth. Something that is important to me. I was informed by her office that, if I wanted to stay local, my only option now would be to have a midwife deliver at home. While I’m not totally opposed to that, since we live 10 minutes from the closest hospital, I was (am) still upset that she won’t be doing the delivery.

As I thought about this, I pulled more piece together. Four people I know were all pregnant and due relatively close to each other. The first, was going to have a natural childbirth, but I later found out ended up having a c-section due to complications. The next, ended up having a c-section. Then 2 more, within days of each other, 20 hours into labor, ended up having c-sections. Does anyone manage a natural labor anymore? Or do you get to a certain point in the delivery process and the doctors just make the call for you?

Being so pro-natural birth, I’m really bothered and actually worried about having a child. Since I will be new to this, when we eventually get pregnant, I’m nervous that I won’t have a choice about the birthing experience. I don’t want an epidural, I don’t want to be in labor and have someone tell me my time’s up (unless there’s a problem that requires medical intervention), I want to make the choices that feel right for me, my baby and my body. Do we rely too much on technology? Have we reached a point where we can’t even birth our own children anymore?

As he dreams here beside me, I fall in love again.
As his gentle breaths remind me, of where it all began.
My lover sleeps beside me, my confidant, my friend.
My soul mate lays beside me, and I hope this never ends.

I was tagged (over a month ago) by @NikolSpencer to do my 10 Honest Things. This is a tough one for me, I’m trying not to pick really obvious things that everyone who knows me will already know. Anyway, here goes…

The Honest Scrap award is given by other bloggers who consider a blog’s content or design to be brilliant. The awardee must then post ten honest things about themselves and pass the award on to other bloggers who fit the bill – in other words, someone brilliant.

1. I regret on a regular basis, not going away to college after graduating. I had intentions of doing it, I was going to work for a year and save up some money and then go to school. I’ve been working full time for 9 years now and never followed through on going to school.

2. I am a romantic soul – I hide behind other things a lot of the time, but deep down runs a romantic chord. I love poetry, sunsets, holding hands, kisses on the forehead and when my husband calls me “Darling”.

3. I believe in love at first sight. Even if you don’t realize that’s what it is. It took me 7 years to realize I was in love, but there was a sign from day one.

4. A log cabin home is my dream. Log cabin on the outside, more modern on the inside, overlooking a lake and secluded for miles from everyone. Someday we’ll build it and we’ll live there, I believe it’s true. Of course we’ll have internet and t.v., but the scenery will be breathtaking.

5. There is a wanna be photographer living inside of me. When I’m behind my point & shoot I’m happy and feel more artistic than I probably am, but I’m okay with that.

6. I sing at the top of my lungs when I drive in my car, sit at my desk at home or take a shower (my hubby is the only audience I ever have). I don’t care if I sound good or not, it’s a release for me and when I’m stressed it helps calm me, especially country music. A life without music is not one for me.

7. I was teased mercilessly in grade school, middle school and my Freshman year of High School. I developed before other girls and was heavier than almost everyone in my classes.  I still deal daily with my self consciousness and struggle when I look in the mirror. It’s something that will probably haunt me forever.

8. My ex cheated on me 6 months after we started dating and I found out from a girl who didn’t even like me who saw it happen. We dated for 4 1/2 years and I never forgave him for it, part of me believes to this day that it had a large hand in the demise of our relationship. I should have walked away and known better.

9. I’ve had names picked out for my children since I was 18. I feel like I’ve always had that motherly instinct and can not wait for the day I get to have a pregnant belly, give birth and hold my own child in my arms.

10. I’ve wanted to be a journalist, interior designer, photographer, grade school teacher and chef. I’m none of these things and now I have no idea what I want to be.

I’m sure most everyone I follow has already done their 10 Honest Things, but I’m giving a shout out to @Fleurdeleigh, @RiaSharon, @ZenMommy, @MissIve and @CanonicalBabble. If you read this and haven’t done one yet, please do (and let me know), I’m interested in getting to know all of you a little better.

Updated to add link to @NikolSpencer’s 10 Honest Things.