Today
I woke up feeling exhausted, I slept like crap last night. In fact, I was so wiped I didn’t hear the alarm go off…that NEVER happens. I’m moody today, I have no patience, need more coffee and am so hungry I think I could eat Denny’s out of their Grand Slam breakfasts…What is wrong with me…
On a side note, I had an excellent day yesterday. Spending the day with the Hubby and friends at Dave & Buster’s was fun. Heather and I rocked the coin machines like nobody’s business. Heaven help Vegas if we ever get there!
And now it’s back to work, which sounds so much less appealing when all I want to do is curl up in a ball w/a caffeine drip and check out for a while. Eloquence has left me…
P.S.
Several things have happened in my recent life and I’ve been feeling very public as of late. You might just need to get used to the new me, or you can tell me to go to hell, either way it’s cool…
That’s What (True) Friends Are For…
I wander in the infinite internet, a lot. Poking in places, peaking behind curtains, uncovering rocks, generally sticking my nose anywhere and everywhere I can…I’m nosy like that. It has happened a couple times in my nosiness that I find things I wish I’d never seen. Witnessed some heinous violation of “proper conduct” in video, stared at a naked picture, or read something a (once) friend has written, that leaves me wondering why I’m still looking at it, or why I felt it necessary to check at all. Tiny moments that make me pause and say “is it really worth it?”
I’ve got a fever…
Rainy Day
I’m sitting at work, drinking my afternoon latte and feeling like I haven’t been productive at all today. Really I feel like I haven’t been productive at all the last 3 weeks. I don’t know what my deal is, but I need to get over it and fast. I have a million things to do, maybe I just don’t know where to start. Time to make a list I guess, maybe my friend can help me find a way to put my shit together…maybe.
The Ties That Bind
My grandmother passed away last week. I flew to Florida to attend her wake and funeral. I was accompanied by my mom, who hasn’t flown in 10 years and was scared beyond belief. We made it though, without incident I might add.
It was a tough weekend. I was happy to see my grandpa (Papa) and my Aunt who I haven’t seen in five years, and spend some time with my (step) sister. It sucked that it came this way, but life has it’s subtle reminders for you. Take time, or live with the regret. I get to spend the rest of my life wondering what kind of relationship I could have had with my grandmother (Gramme) had I picked up the phone and called or written a letter. All I have are the memories of an 8 year old girl, blurry though they are, they’re special to me.
The grandmother I remember was not the frail body I saw this weekend. I don’t know what they did to her, but she was not there. I’ve never done well at funerals. I don’t handle bodies very well typically. This time, however, I was ok. I cried and hugged family, but I also said goodbye, something I can’t normally handle. I’m so grateful I could do it this time, I think I really needed it.
After the wake and funeral, we shared stories and memories of days that have long passed, it was nice to wake up in a house that I had only a childs memory of, and it was still the same. The furniture, unmoved, pictures still hung in the same place, the toast and tea for breakfast, everything just like it “used to be”. Though, I am older now, I reverted back to feeling like I was that little girl again.
It was the hardest trip home I’ve had to make, I cried more in the last 4 days than I have in months. Real, genuine tears. I have promised myself I will not let years pass by again before my next visit and I will pick up the phone and call my grandpa more often. He’s such a sweet man, I miss him already…
On my way to Orlando Airport yesterday, my husband called with some grim news of our dog. Apparently he couldn’t move the back half of his body anymore and was dragging himself around. The prognosis was a herniated disc (most likely). He’s on steroid therapy for a few weeks and they are hoping it will heal itself and he’ll be fine. If it doesn’t work, it means surgery and no guarantee that it will help at all. The thought of having to put that poor puppy (he’s only 7) to sleep breaks my heart, but it hurts more to see the sadness that has consumed my husband. Rocky is literally one of his best friends.
Let’s hope this is the end of my thunderstorm and I get to see the sunlight soon.
Seattle Trip 1
Okay, so I spent 4 days in Seattle for PAX (Penny-Arcade Expo). Brian and I had an absolute blast! It was probably the best vacation we’ve taken together yet. The city is beautiful, the weather was perfect (60’s and sunny – that’s right NO RAIN!) and our hotel was the nicest one I’ve ever stayed in (Kudos to the Grand Hyatt Seattle).
The trip was long, we both worked on Thursday before flying out and didn’t get settled into our room until about 1:00am, local time, which was 3:00am Central and since we had both been up since 6:00am that morning it made for a long day.
The bed swallowed me when I finally hit it, but I woke up feeling refreshed and ready to explore this great city. We met up with one of our friends who has recently moved to the area and set out to the Public Market to get some breakfast. What an interesting place! Pike’s of course is there and though we waited for almost 15 minutes, we didn’t get to see a fish sail through the air…next time. It’s an interesting maze of stair cases and hallways lined with little niche shops. I could have spent a couple hours just exploring everything, but we were on a schedule…again, next time.
We found a great smelling place called Cinnamon Works and decided that fresh bakery would be great for breakfast.I have to say fresh muffins, an ocean view and some of the best company a girl can have, causes the best of days. We walked everywhere it seemed. Down to the piers, passing about 30 Starbucks on the way…man does Seattle LOVE coffee! The air was clean and fresh, something I haven’t experienced in such a long time. The more we walked the more I fell in love with this city.
Standing in the Window as You Drive Away.
Rain poured from the sky, covering everything and everyone in an almost unnatural haze of gray. She was late, but that’s okay, I’ll always wait for her. She has something of value to me, something you were quick to push away. Where could I have gone wrong with you? What could I have possibly done…There’s no point in looking for answers anymore. Just as quickly as she appeared, you were gone or were you ever really there?
The Big Revelation (in my tiny mind)
Okay, I’ve started to realize how quickly I forget some of the best times I’ve had. Maybe I’m getting older or maybe my tiny brain is so full of other shit that I just can’t keep it all in there anymore. Either way I’m starting a blog, which I swore I would never do. Here’s to follow through and hoping I get some!