[sigh]

I’m going home to an empty house for, what feels like, the millionth time…in reality it’s not, but I’ve noticed how much I hate my “alone” time right now. All I want to do is spend time with the one I love and all he wants to do is something else. We’re already on different schedules 3 out of the 5 work days each week. I’m clinging to every minute I get to spend with him and it feels like he doesn’t mind throwing the minutes away. I’m probably just being selfish and unfair, but I’ve waited 11 years to be able to spend time ALONE with him and now, even though he’ll say it isn’t the case, he’s never here…

Guess it’s dinner for one again tonight…

MmmBop!

So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every section of your life, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new section, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool and no disclaimers allowed.

Opening Credits: “Nobody Knows” Tony Rich Project
Waking Up: “The Lights of London” David Gray
First Day At School: “Celebration” Kool & The Gang
Falling In Love: “Let Forever Be” Chemical Brothers
Fight Song: “The Crying Game” Culture Club
Breaking Up: “Something To Remember” Madonna
Prom: “Leave It Inside (Acoustic)” Toby Lightman
Mental Breakdown: “Might Love” Bob Carlisle
Driving: “Redneck Woman” Gretchen Wilson
Flashback: “Smooth Criminal” Alien Antfarm
Getting back together: “Do You Really Want To Hurt Me” Culture Club
Wedding: “Uninvited” Alanis Morrisette
Birth of Child: “Fall From Grace” Amanda Marshall
Final Battle: “Cool” Gwen Stefani
Death Scene: “Unlove Me” Julie Roberts

Wow are there some winners in there…seriously who the fuck has been messin’ with my iTunes account???

Packing

I’m in the middle of putting my life in boxes. Part of me wants to hang on to things, part of me wants to purge and then there’s the part that wants someone else to come in and decide what I should keep and what I should let go of. I’m moving on to bigger (yay!) and better things in my life. I get to spend time in my own house, have all the privacy I’ve lived without for 27 years and know that my husband is coming home to me. These are happy things and I can’t wait, but I also can’t explain why part of me is still unsure…Maybe it’s the thought of failure, the idea of NOT making it on my own or maybe it’s just the change itself. I’m a creature of habit, it’s why I stayed in a bad relationship too long, why I didn’t quit my last job 3 years sooner, why I laugh at the same jokes over again, use the same catch phrases, love my family so much and still get warm fuzzies when I kiss my husband. It’s predictable (mostly), comfortable and safe…Those three things aren’t all bad, but when they make you uneasy of what the future holds, it’s a whole different ball game. I’ve got to get myself ready for adventure, the unknown and ready to grab life by whatever it’ll hand me. I’m going to enjoy this, whatever it is, wherever it leads. It’s my story to write and I’m armed with blank pages and an unending supply of ink.

Someday…

Someday I’ll, someday we’ll, someday, someday, someday….How about today?

Someday you’ll leave everyone and come home to your wife when she tells you she’s lonely and misses you more than anything. Someday you’ll realize that taking one night away from working wasn’t too much of her to ask. Someday you’ll wish you had taken more days away from other things to spend time with her when she was lonely, because someday you’ll be lonely too.

I hate that word….

Breathing…I Miss It

I think I’m getting sick, thanks to someone here in the office who’s currently spreading germs around. I HATE, repeat HATE it when I get a stuffy nose, you never appreciate breathing so much as when you can’t…There goes my weekend, thank you very little…

Man am I PMSing or what??

Blah, blah, blah…

GET OVER YOURSELF!!!

Okay I feel better now :). It’s “one of those days” for me today. I’m tired, don’t want to be at work, am sick of people bitching that Obama’s gonna ruin the country and wish people could just, for one second, take a step back and think about things…

My soapbox is broken, so I’m not going to hop on it, but man am I tired of negativity lately. COME ON ALREADY!

Also, some people are jackasses, born, raised and living that way and they’ll never change. Some of those same jackasses call others manipulative, when they are the ones manipulating. Look in the mirror and check yourselves out, you don’t look so hot anymore, you’re an absolute bore, and you’re an ass…I wonder how anyone could turn you down…

On a plus side, the house is getting sooo close to being done, sweet, sweet freedom is a mere 16 days away. I’m finding that my stress relief is easy to come by if I spend some time online searching for blinds, curtains, paint colors or any other random “new house” item I feel I’m going to need (yes NEED) in the near future 🙂

This is What We Fight For…

I voted this morning, normally this type of thing doesn’t make me feel any particular way. Today, the sun was shining, it’s 60 degrees in November and I walked out of the polling place with a smile. I haven’t felt this strongly about any political thing until this morning. I kicked ass…

GOBAMA!

P.S. Whoever created the image above – KUDOS to you!

So It Goes

I’ve realized this weekend just how much my life has recently changed. I’d always heard that once you get married and have a house, you stop wanting “things” as gifts and start buying practical items. I’ve never been so excited over a piece of furniture in my life, this weekend, however, I couldn’t contain myself as Brian and I shopped for our living room/family room furniture. I caught myself last night and had a startling moment of realization (my brain went “a couch, really?!? THAT’S what is doing it for you? LAME!”). I’ve officially crossed over my friends. It’ll be flooring, paint, new curtains and a nice patio set instead of those sweaters, shoes and jewelry I’d normally request.

I’m an old married person now…and I’m okay with it 🙂

Another Helping

Of my musical taste. This one’s been lingering in the back of my mind for a while now…enjoy 🙂

Happy Birthday To Me!